Sometimes in my life, I wanted a nothing box, a box containing nothing at all; a pitch black empty box which full of darkness.

I haven been sleeping not quite well all these days, having all emotional all the sudden while everything just went perfectly fine for me as far as I'm concern. For few days having somewhat a similar dream, a dream of a kid being an asshole ruin other people's life. For 3 days wake up from such a nightmare, what does this suppose to mean? I have no idea at all. First of all, who is this kid, he looks so young that I can't really tell how old is he; second of all, why the hell am I having this dream for 3 days straight?

The lack of sleep makes me pretty much moody and I'm pretty much stressed as exams are near and I had nothing in mind. Somehow my attitude isn't that good recently, somewhat like to think some unnecessary things which drown my mood even more.

I've longed a comfortable sleep, a thoughtless night. When was my last peaceful night again? I had a feeling of uneasiness, an uncomfortable feeling, what was it? I can't tell, even though I wanted to speak out my feelings, what is it that I want to tell? What's the reason I'm feeling so uneasy? Everything seems to be fine so what is wrong with me? Am I too free until that I must be emotional for NOTHING at all just to be fine or is it really something inside of me that I'm not aware of? Sigh.. I'm afraid of sleeping...

I wished my brain will went dead when I sleep so that I will think absolutely nothing at all, this brain of mine is too sophisticated to begin with.

写着文章的目的，是因为最近发现我的周围出现很多不懂这四维的人，当中包括我的朋友们，认识的人，点头之交以及看过去很熟却又不认识的人。

国之四维，礼仪廉耻，四维不张，国乃灭亡。这句话应该很多人读过，也很多人知道这是什么意思，却没有人把这句话当一回事，然而只把这句话当成考试所用的句子，或者是批评人的工具自己却没有很好。国之四维，礼仪廉耻，四维不张，国乃灭亡，简单的说，礼仪是一个社会的根本制度，廉耻是个人的根本原则，然而这四维是治国的基本要素，一个国家如果没有这四维，那就很容易灭亡了。

礼，就是礼貌，我发现很多人都缺乏这样东西，难道现代社会正在流行“时光倒流”吗？人越来越没文化，比深山野人还要没文化。你很可能会这样想，“哇老！！KeN！！你怎么这么帅？!”; 或者你们比较可能会这样想，“为什么这样说呢？”。通常人家帮了你的忙，就算不感激也好歹说声谢谢，人家以后会帮你。现代人，超实际的，没用到你时，六亲不认，招呼都不打，用到你时，像条哈巴狗，不帮还给脸色看。用完了，拍拍屁股走人，谢谢都没有，我说你妈有没有教你仁义道德的？这么没教养，我家养的那两条狗看到我回来都会摇摇尾巴欢迎我回来，帮人都还不如养条狗那样。

仪，就是仪表。所谓人靠衣装佛靠金装。内在美固然重要，外在美也是不可以忽略的。做人第一印象很重要，好比我吧，我好出名的，人家看到我都很想狠狠地在我脸上给个拳印，有时给人散播谣言说我很帅，往往换来我的眼泪，不是因为我感动，而是人家不服给人骗了说我不符合标准拿我来出气。人长得很抱歉不用紧，所谓金玉其外，败絮其中，长得帅的人不一定是好人，而我就例外。人长得丑不是你的错，不要怪你父母为什么把你生到这样，不要怪他们因为为了一时的快感而忽略了你，所以不要自责。但是，如果你出去吓人，这就是你的错！样子长得抱歉就乖乖呆在家里了，不要到处去吓人！人吓人会吓死人的！

廉，就是廉洁，做人要光明磊落，不要偷偷摸摸，鬼鬼祟祟。可想而知，现代人很市侩，看到钱什么都可以，有钱能使鬼推磨，这句话一点都没错。好比一个朋友，生气了为了让他消气还得买名牌的东西给他吃，比如：Ferreror Rocher/Toblerone/Starbucks等等。我可怜那些没钱的，怎么样度过这可悲的现代社会？难道就任由他们放肆吗？表面可能跟你没什么事情，后面藏着一把抢准备把你给毙了。世界渐渐腐败在这里我祝我自己早日得到平安和财富，所以以后日子没这么难过。

耻，就是知耻。这也是大部分现代人无法拥有的特点之一，脸皮厚到~~~~马六甲去（如果你喜欢吉隆坡也可以），普通枪弹是不可能打得进的了。这种不知羞耻的人的特点是：身高一定不可能是180cm，也不可能戴眼镜，他驾的Volvo里面没有Luffy的，没有 Xperia X2 和 Nokia 2600这么高级的电话，blogger网址一定不是“kw6465.blogspot.com”！小弟我很常跟朋友出去吃午餐，这么多地方我最怕去King Center天一。在那里我每次都很习惯的被吓两到三次，一次是叫饮料时看到人妖在take order，第二次是人妖跟我们收钱，如果不幸那时没给准数还要吓多一次，因为他还要回来还我们散钱。这些人就是不知耻！明明是男的为什么要穿裙？而且还是短裙。穿裙就算了，人家看你还以为人家觉得你漂亮，甩甩你的秀发，觉得很自豪。天哪，这社会是病了吗？我觉得有时候我一个朋友好幸福，因为她是瞎的，这一切一切给她都可能是一种朦胧的美。

好了，解释完毕。在这里我希望你们会知道什么是礼义廉耻，不要到处丢人现眼，帮帮这个生病的社会恢复它应该有的样子。

-终

-KeN

I can't really sleep, so I've decided to write something here to kill some time.

So, there were this day where I had a little talk with a old friend of mine who I don't really talk to since long time ago and also a very very good friend. He wanted a song from me which he can't really find it on web and since I'm such a iTunes for anyone, I somehow find the song he was looking for. So we had a little chat, and then he shoot off a question asking me, why do I look so emotional lately.

I know I'm emotional lately and I'm sorry for that, cause that's not what I wanted to. So, this friend of mine, happens to follow my blog, reading this very post and I thank you, said that I shouldn't be so emotional. He said that I should cheer up and just overlook the things happened. Well, apparently I just can't, and he said my jackass attitude never changes. I'm a kind of person that always think of others 1st before I think of myself. When I see that, I was kind of happy look that compliment. He said that, how come would I so blindly help a person without considering the consequences I face later, quoting from the case that I helped him during the year me and him was a die hard friend.

After the little chit chat, I realize something pretty important, I do really consider other people than myself. At 1st I thought it was a compliment, but then it was a bad comment. Considering other people 1st is a good thing, what is bad that I never take into account about things that will happen to me and then make my friends guilty about it. It'll cause hatred. Most of my friend said I'm helpful in a way but also hateful in a way, despite that the "I do what I can" attitude of mine, and the aftermath I'll face later, I totally understand now.

For friends, I'm willing to do anything I can to make them acknowledge me. To be frank that I'm actually scared to be left out in whatsoever way. I know I've been very protective against people, and I'm pretty much aware of my annoying talk style that many people hates, still not letting go of my ego and said that I don't care, but then what's inside of me is not the same as what I said. I do care about what people think of me, that's why I keep myself useful for the reason. If I were not to care, I won't be emotional with all the blog post these days.

Anyways, I have no idea what I'm writing here now, just plain text from brain to this blog post. It's time for me to sleep and calm down. Nights peeps!

Peace Out!

-KeN-

Something to share for this past few years~ Some silly pictures and things we went through~ I can't upload all of them as here already had 30 of them~ Looking at those past pictures really made me goes ROFL LOL LMAO~ Reminds me of everything we done so far this year are so silly~ xDD

What do you all think about my new skin? xDD it's nice isn't it? Well the stupid old template was screwed so I had to change a new one~ This is it~ =3

Someday of my life, I learn to wear a mask so that what's behind it, no one will know. For me taking down the mask was showing your weakness to the others and others will take that chance to take the advantage of you.

For sometimes, I wear the mask even before my best friend, the rules are simple, I wear it so my friends don't get worried. As you know, the mask ain't light at all, its heavy, having it wearing 24 hours a day sure is tiring but exchange for a laughter, why not? That's the thought I thought very long time ago. The only time that I truly take off is when I'm alone in my room at midnight, where as there's no one to talk to you, no one comes to see you and there's peace and quiet.

Times passed, when I once meet a friend, who told me to take that mask off when I'm with true friends, because that's when you can relax and be yourself. He is partially right, as true friends never take the advantage of you and they tried to help you and amazingly the worst part is, "they tried to help you". While showing my true self to another person is like getting my friends all worried about me and tried to help me, but what I need was never the "help". Some just don't understand and thought bad about me and therefore I start to take my mask and start wearing it again.

Being happy on the outside was easy, but who could have seen what's inside of a person? You can say all you want about how much do you know that person but the truth is you know none about him/her. Sometimes the "helping" you all do is not getting any help but instead adding the trouble of that particular person. As for your info, "listening" and "do nothing" is also a kind of help.

I'm tired of this kind of life, who on earth now will understand this feeling of mine~

给某某人：

大家朋友做了这么久，你还不了解我？我为人你们又不是不懂，朋友对我来说是多么重要，为何要讲一些无谓的东西呢？有了新的忘记久的的？我告诉你，这简直是荒谬！

我有我的原则，这不需要你来干涉，因为无论如何我都不会照你的意思去做，我要不要这是我的决定，我答应你是人情，不答应你是道理。凭什么要我推掉我的另一个朋友的约会来答应你临时才叫我的约会？那我给你脸别人就不用了吗？如果是朋友你应该顾及我的脸，我的脸皮不是拿来给你贴屁股用的。你是朋友，他们也是我朋友，一个小小的事情需要闹到这么大吗？

朋友都说是有难同当有福同享，如果你都不信任我了那还讲什么兄弟？生病这东西可以拿来玩的哦？那是不是你曾经这样撒过谎骗我们？我要休息，不要出来，你说我很喜欢放生你们？那好，就当我放生你们，我没这样的权利吗？我们不说别的，就说你一出事谁丢下他的大型家族晚餐跟老爸借车飙上你的家载你出去就因为你跟你家人吵架？又是谁在上课途中说到一个电话说没有车需要一个人来载他去接他女朋友然后放下他的车去给他驾？又是谁在餐馆吃了钱包掉了特地从家里出来去帮你还钱走人？又是那一个笨蛋，在你最后关头要交你的assignment时帮你做了一个晚上最后连一句谢谢也没有，更不用说请我吃的还是喝的，又是谁在我三更半夜睡觉的时候emo，要我陪你们去兜兜风不管明天有没有早上的课？那个笨蛋，你们还记得吗？是我！

有时候我真是不懂，我到底是你们的朋友还是你们的用具。我在你们心目中是什么？怎么好像连一点价值都没有？我失望透了，如果说我这个朋友做得不好，那对不起，我无能为力，我达不到你的要求，因为我自问朋友已经做到很够的了，但是如果你们还是不满意，那就请你们放弃我，我不值得让你们这一个帮搞到一团糟。

终~